It's A Dirty Job
by Rogue12158
Summary: Bella has a little mishap in PE and an ambulance is called. Who would expect that it's the same day that Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs is working with the men running the ambulances?


Rogue

_I would like to thank MusicJunkie4 for her help on giving me the idea for this story._

_I don't own Twilight, much to my dismay._

_It's A Dirty Job_

Ah... Another absurdly boring lecture that I've already been taught, thrice.

Ah... Another absurdly boring hour in which I have to resist the urge to watch Bella through the minds of others.

Ah... Another absurdly boring moment when I realize that resistance is futile.

_Oh my God!_ The thoughts of one of Bella's classmates from P.E. shouted. _Bella!_

Just that sent my inner worrywart, my outer worrywart, and my semiautomatic worrywart into hyper speed.

_Call an ambulance!! _Another thought rang out.

My face froze – though I'm sure one of my eyes started twitching – as I asked the teacher if I could be excused to go to the bathroom, in my desperate attempt to get out of that classroom and to my Bella.

When I neared the gym, I saw my beautiful, clumsy, danger-magnet Bella being carted away on a stretcher, pushed by three men, and followed by... A camera crew?

Wait..._ What?!_

I practically speeded up to them, asking what happened.

"Well – your the boyfriend, right?" I nodded. "Well, it seems that she tripped over a wayward jump rope, fell into the net, it spun three around times before collapsing down five feet to the gym floor."

If my eye wasn't twitching before, it sure as hell was now.

"Son, are you alright? Your eye is twitching," said a man who was dressed differently than the rest. And his voice was oddly familiar...

"Yeah, I'm alright." _Physically._ "Can I ride in the back?"

_Errr... I don't know. We'd have to eighty-six the camera crew... I was looking forward to my close up..._

"I'm Doctor Cullen's son. He wouldn't mind if I showed up at the E.R."

"Aww... C'mon. Let the kid be with his girl. I'll take a mini cam," the odd man out said to the other two.

One of the ambulance technician nodded his head and we all hopped into the back of the ambulance after the odd man out grabbed a miniature camera and the crew headed to the front seats.

I sat there, staring at Bella's somewhat battered face, stroking her hand. Only my Bella could flip around in a net three times. I would have chuckled if my heart wasn't breaking at the sight of her pain.

The trip to the hospital was long and painful and... very awkward. The odd man out made me hold his camera so he could talk into, asking the technicians their ambulance horror stories – Like I wanted to hear about those with the love of my life lying unconscious a foot away from me – kind of like a television host.

It wasn't until we reached the hospital and were getting Bella out that I realized where I heard the man's voice.

We were wheeling Bella into the E.R. when the man turned to the reassembled camera crew and said, "Ambulance Technician. It's a Dirty Job."

I could here the tech's conversation with the man.

"Thanks, Mike. Your help was appreciated," one of the techs told the man, Mike.

"Anytime. I just wasn't expecting to do anything really. The town of Forks doesn't seem like the kind of town that needs a lot of ambulances," Mike said.

"We're not. The last time we saw any real action was earlier this year when the same girl nearly got hit by a van."

_Ouch. _Mike thought.

_Tell me about it,_ I thought to him.

-:-:-:-:-

_Two Weeks Later_

-:-:-:-:-

"Edward... Must we watch this?" Bella complained.

"Yes, love, we must."

Alice had told me that tonight would be the night that the episode that I, along with an unconscious Bella, would be 'guest starring' on the Discovery Channel show, _Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe._

I refused to let the opportunity to see her face when she sees this go by.

The host of the show started to talk on the television.

"_Tonight, we bring you to the small town of Forks, Washington, where I got to work with the diligent men of the Forks General Hospital who run the ambulances..."_

"No," Bella said. "Impossible. I refuse to believe this."

"Sorry, Bella."

That's when the close up of her lying on the floor of the gymnasium, tangled in the nets, unconscious.

While I cringed and she blushed furiously, Mike Rowe continued on. _"Local girl managed to trip over a jump rope and into a volleyball net, proceeded to spin around three times, _before_ it collapsed to the ground. I had the privilege to make sure she made it to the hospital in one piece. And here boyfriend who rode in the back with us was my substitute camera man. He did a great job. He probably has a future in that profession..."_

I growled at the screen.

Bella decided to divert the focus of embarrassment from herself to me. "So, Edward, gonna become a camera man?"

I growled at her. "No."

I turned off the television and placed my attention on more pleasant things.

-:-:-:-:-

In true Mike Rowe fashion, I'm going to sit here as I beg shamelessly for story ideas. Please I'm begging you. Just imagine a teenage girl, sitting at her desk in her study hall, staring at a black piece of paper for forty minutes. That was me today. MusicJunkie4 has given me this idea, now it's your turn. I will offer a reward in cookie form for all those who help. Review or P.M. me your advice.

_R_

_E_

_V_

_I  
E  
W  
!!!_


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